What 6 Years of Keratoconus Has Done To Me


I am a massage therapist. One day, I was visiting patients at a factory and happened to play around with the eye chart on the wall. I couldn't believe how much worse the vision in my right eye was than my left.

Later that week I visited my eye doctor. He put lens after lens in front of me, but it didn't really improve my vision. Then he brought me to another room, Did some more tests and told me I had Keratoconus. He explained to me that we would have to try contacts instead of glasses.

After multiple visits and multiple contacts, I was referred to a optometrist who bluntly told me, "come back when you need a corneal transplant." Are you serious? I had an almost 3 year old and a 6 month baby... I can't loose my vision. I was only 25! I went back to the original eye doctor and he then referred me to Ohio State University. There I was accepted into a corneal crosslinking study and received crosslinking on my right eye. I have been very fortunate. My right eye hasn't progressed since the crosslinking and even though my left eye has keratoconus, it is pretty mild.

Throughout the last 6 years keratoconus has made me make decisions that I may not have otherwise. I got my eyeliner tattooed on, because it's hard to put eyeliner on when I close my "good eye". I bought a 1 story house within walking distance of work... Just in case. I have actually wondered what the point of taking pictures are because someday you might not be able to see them. I have had my daughter's eyes scanned for piece of mind. The list goes on. It's always in the back of my head.


On the other hand, it makes you treasure the smiles on your children's faces, sunsets, green fields, flowers blooming, and clouds that touch mountain ranges. It makes you want to go on random adventures to see new things and it makes you want to permanently save the feelings you have when you view those things. It makes you love your husband and family even more for understanding. And because they don't seem scared, it makes it a lot less scary.
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3 comments:

  1. KC is highly treatable. Finding knowledgeable and experienced doctors is very important as there are many that are not completely familiar with all of the procedures and types of lenses.

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  2. KC can be very life damaging. Not all fare as well as others. I'm sorry what all has happened to you. At least you have a husband who can be secondary care for you and you're not alone as I am now around 40, a beautiful girl, but being put through what KC did to me in my 20's, and all I went through in my twenties and thirties, I wanted nothing to do with men as in California, all they want is your energy and HAVE NO idea 'how much love' (and care) (any person who has had to go through severe KC and hasn't come out well) I needed after what I had been through. KC can, for some, destroy your life. (I almost wrote this in 3rd person as its just becoming too hard to deal with)

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  3. I totally get this! But I take pictures because I can hold them close enough to eyes to see. I also invested in a point and shoot 60x zoom so I can enjoy the moon and trees and birds. Things people take for granted I relish. Don't give up living though. If you can still see with contacts, count it a blessing. I do.

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